Can a May-December romance work when he’s a lot older? If you’re a younger woman dating an older man, you’ve probably been asked this question at least once (likely more). After all, why would a young, beautiful woman choose to date an older man if not for his money?
While money might be a contributing factor for some women, there’s another big reason why older men actually make better partners—they’re more trusting, at least according to new scientific research to be published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science.
The research found that people become more trusting as they age, and as one of the studies demonstrated, this is a trend that has been consistent over the past 30 years and in several different countries, showing that it isn’t just a cultural or generational characteristic. A second study followed the same group of people over a period of time and also found that they became increasingly trusting with each passing year.
Going back to that May-December romance, older men are proven to be more trusting, which is always an admirable quality in a partner. It might not seem like a huge deal, but a trusting partner can really be one of the biggest pros of age difference in relationships. Trust is essential for any relationship to work, regardless of whether it’s a May-December romance or a more conventional one. It paves the way for open, honest communication and keeps out unnecessary doubt or jealousy.
No woman wants to be in a relationship in which their intentions are always being questioned and are constantly being watched out of fear that they’re doing something wrong. It’s never a nice feeling to know that your partner doesn’t trust you, but when you’re with an older man, you don’t have to worry about that. There’s a better chance that he’s secure enough with himself to know that once he’s got you, he doesn’t have to worry about you going behind his back.
That being said, it’s still a two-way street. If you’re in a May-December romance and your older man has put all his trust in you, don’t take advantage of him. He obviously respects you and you should owe him that same consideration. Also, you should be able to trust him, too. Unless you’re fairly certain he’s up to no good, you should be able to have faith in him and his intentions. If for whatever reason you don’t trust him, it’s probably a good time to reevaluate that relationship.
So going back to that question, can a May-December romance work if he’s much older? The answer is yes, absolutely. Just make sure his trust in you isn’t futile and that you trust him, too.
Nauert, R., “Aging Associated with Increased Trust & Well-Being,” PsychCentral web site, March 16, 2015; http://goo.gl/hTBgwk.