When your age gap relationship goes from casual to exclusive, you might find yourself getting more comfortable with each other, which can be a very satisfying feeling. But from our experience, that sense of comfort for some couples can sometimes end up translating into a less active sex life—it’s almost like you stop trying, because, well, you don’t really have to anymore. And that’s when things can start to get tricky in your age gap relationship.
That being said, it can make a huge difference in your age gap relationship if you know how to spice things up in the bedroom. And one way to do that is to tap into each other’s sexual fantasies.
Have you ever wondered what kind of secret desires your significant other has in the bedroom? It’s not always an easy topic to bring up, especially if your age gap relationship is fairly new. But you’re in luck, because researchers from the University of Montreal recently conducted a study about sexual fantasies and uncovered some interesting differences between what men and women desire, or at least think about, behind closed doors.
According to the study’s self-reported data from 1,500 male and female participants, men tend to have more sexual fantasies than women do and they were better able to describe these hypothetical situations with greater detail. Furthermore, men reported fantasizing about someone other than their partner and genuinely hoped that their fantasy would someday come true. Not surprisingly, the most common sexual fantasy for men was a threesome with two women.
Women, on the other hand, seem to be more suited for a long-term age gap relationship—they were more likely to fantasize about their partner. The female participants were also more likely to separate sexual fantasy from reality. For instance, 30% to 60% of the female participants admitted to fantasizing about being submissive in some way—getting tied up was a popular response—but most of these women had no desire to actually turn that fantasy into a real-life scenario.
While the findings may not pertain specifically to age gap dating per se, they do offer some useful insight into what piques men and women’s sexual interests, which you can definitely apply to your own relationship.
It might sound alarming for your age gap relationship that your older man fantasizes about other women, but it doesn’t have to be, because you can leverage that desire. We’re not saying that you should start planning a hot and heavy threesome. But if you do feel like your sex life is starting to lag a bit, try changing things up by introducing a bit of role playing in the bedroom. That way he gets the thrill of being with a different character, without being with a different person.
It also wouldn’t hurt to sit down and talk to your partner about what you’d both like to try the next time you’re intimate. After all, what have you really got to lose?
Hodgekiss, A., “Are YOUR sexual fantasies normal? New study reveals what most of us think of (and the differences between men and women),” Daily Mail web site, November 1, 2014; http://goo.gl/NFaUup.