If you’re one of the many younger women dating older men, you’ve probably encountered the common misconception that your sex life can’t possibly be thriving. But this is often nothing more than an ignorant assumption with no factual merit. In fact, many younger women dating older men will attest to the fact that the sex can be just as satisfying, if not more satisfying, in May-December relationships.
But like any other intimate relationship, you can sometimes lose the spark in May-December relationships when you’ve been together for so long—many couples fall into a slump where sex becomes less of an exciting titillating experience and more part of a routine. But it doesn’t have to stay that way. Here are a few foolproof ways to turn up the heat in the bedroom and improve the long-term chemistry in your May-December relationships.
Speak up in the bedroom. Your sex life will improve infinitely if you just tell your partner what turns you on and makes you feel good. A lot of younger women dating older men assume that he’ll be offended, but all men, even the most mature ones in May-December relationships, aim to please under the sheets. So rather than make him guess, just be straight up about what really makes you hot. Even better, show him. A study from 2012 found that couples who communicate during sex were actually more satisfied than those who kept quiet.
Break up your routine. Whether it’s changing the time, day, or location of sex with your older man, a change in routine can go a long way in May-December relationships. Try introducing something new in the bedroom, like role play, toys, or new positions. It’s also important to add some excitement outside the bedroom. Try doing something new and adventurous together, whether it’s rock climbing or experimenting with different cuisine. Research has shown that doing things that are thrilling and exciting can increase dopamine levels in your brain, and dopamine is the neurotransmitter that plays a part in sexual desire. That’s why many relationship experts will agree that for younger women dating older men, spending time having fun together outside the bedroom will translate to more action behind closed doors.
Spend some time apart. As beneficial as it is for May-December relationships to spend time together, it also helps to spend some time apart. After all, distance does make the heart grow fonder. A 2013 study revealed that spending one night apart from your partner can boost the frequency of sex in your relationship. For younger women dating older men, it’s important to have your own life outside of your May-December relationship. He may be older, but he probably doesn’t want to be with a woman who’s completely dependent on him. It’s more appealing to be with a woman who has her own interests and hobbies.
Redecorate your bedroom. A few simple changes, like fancy new sheets or a different wall color, can really help to add some zest to May-December relationships. And get rid of things that remind you of your mundane, daily life, like office briefcases, work documents, kids’ toys, and laundry piles. If you have no idea where to start with the redecorating, consider the color purple. A study by a popular retailer found that couples with purple décor had more sex than those with other colors. It might sound pretty out there, but it’s worth a shot.
Exercise more. Working out is good for May-December relationships, because it stimulates both your body and your brain, which makes you more receptive to sexual activity. In other words, it gets you in the mood by boosting your cardiovascular system, improving your circulation, reducing stress, and even improving your self-confidence. Younger women dating older men may not have to worry about feeling like a million bucks when they’re naked, but a good workout can make you feel even better about yourself.
What do you think: Do you have any sex tips of your own for other younger women dating older men?
Bailey, L.E., “10 Ways to Make Sex Sexier,” Fitness web site; http://goo.gl/G0OGjp, last accessed October 10, 2014.
Borreli, L., “Best Sex Ever: 5 Little-Known Ways To Have A Better Sex Life, Backed By Science,” Medical Daily web site, June 17, 2014; http://goo.gl/vjIag0.