My unfaithful actions almost destroyed my marriage. I can say without a doubt in my heart that if my husband had found out that I had cheated on him, he would have left me in the street with nothing. And I can’t say that I would blame him. After my close call, I ignored Derrick’s phone calls and texts for over a month. He only made a few attempts to contact me at first, but as the weeks passed, he began to contact me almost every day. He knew that if he tried hard enough, I would eventually give in. And he didn’t like being ignored.
I realized how unfair I was being to Derrick. Besides, I needed to see him one last time to set things straight. I had to tell him that I could no longer have an affair. My heart was no longer invested with Derrick. I realized, after I almost lost my husband, that I only lusted after Derrick, and that my heart was with my husband. The gifts and sex had clouded my judgment once again. I had lost Josh, my old fiancé, who happened to be an amazing man, because of the lies related to Derrick. I could not lose my husband too. I texted Derrick with four simple words: We need to talk.
I’m not sure why, but I met him at the same hotel we had been meeting at during the five months of our affair. I wasn’t in the mood to argue or change what was safe for us. When I got to the room, Derrick was laying in bed. Immediately, he asked me to lie next to him, but I could tell by his voice that something was wrong. This was not about sex.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. I hoped in my heart that he would say that we could no longer see each other. I was afraid that if I broke things off, I would eventually just call him back and try to arrange something. My passion for him was too strong. I knew that eventually I would break and try to see him again.
“She filed for divorce,” said Derrick.
I was completely and utterly thrown off. This changed everything…