QUESTION: Sex with my sugar daddy is incredible and always satisfying, especially when he goes down on me. The problem is that I really hate going down on him. It’s not personal—as much as I like receiving, I’ve just never been a fan of giving. How can I keep getting oral sex from my sugar daddy without having to give it?
CHELSEA SAYS: On the one hand, it might appear selfish for you to expect to receive without having to do it for him in return. But on the other hand, everyone has different preferences when it comes to sex—you’re not always going to like what your sugar daddy likes, and vice versa.
Is he OK with you not going down on him? A lot of guys actually enjoy going down on women because it’s just as hot for them—it turns them on to see you turned on. So, if your sugar daddy doesn’t mind giving oral sex without getting in return, then you really don’t have much of a problem. Enjoy it!
If your sugar daddy has made it clear that he expects a little oral action down south, then you’ll have to get a little more strategic in your approach to sex. First, ask yourself what it is about giving oral sex that you hate so much, and is the problem fixable? If you don’t like the taste, spit, don’t swallow—eating certain foods beforehand has also been shown to affect how he tastes. If you don’t like the hair he has down there, ask him to shave. If none of this makes a difference and it still repulses you, then your sugar daddy needs to understand and accept that. No matter how amazing your sugar daddy is, he should never, ever force you to do something you aren’t comfortable doing, especially when it comes to sex.
It also depends on how long you and your sugar daddy have been together. If you’ve only just started dating and having sex, then there’s a good chance that you could grow to a point where you’re more comfortable going down on him. You and your sugar daddy will (hopefully) evolve as a couple on all levels, including emotionally and physically—that means the sex will only get better. Trust me; even giving oral sex can be quite pleasurable when it’s with the right man.
There are other ways you can compromise, like saving it for special occasions (talk about a happy birthday), or compensating with a little extra hand action. But I can’t stress this point enough: if you’re not okay with going down on your sugar daddy, no matter how comfortable or in love you are with him, then he needs to accept that. And if it’s a deal breaker for him, then let him go. You don’t want to be with a man who will pressure you into doing things you don’t want to do. You’re supposed to be in a mature relationship, not a high school girls’ locker room. Have enough self-respect to realize when it’s time to walk away.